i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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