I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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