She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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