rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
We are two peas in an std pod
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Oh god it's open bar.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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