I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Randomize