Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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