called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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