I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
