K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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