I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
