Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize