either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
