I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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