I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
