Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
