Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
