he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
