so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
