i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
