im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Randomize
