Kareoke will never be a sober sport
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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