you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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