What a fucking waste of an outfit
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
