Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
