I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
