we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
How naked do you want me to be?
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