i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
