I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
