Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
whose parrot is this?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
