Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
