Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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