i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
