we were pretty classy up until the second keg
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I still have a little drunk in my system
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I did not marry a roomba.
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