my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
