dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Randomize
