she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
