Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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