Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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