I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
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