Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
