i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
