More tranny stories later!
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I wish there were birth control emojis
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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