im about as happy as oj after his trial
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
