Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
