Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Randomize