I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
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