My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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