Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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