I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
