nut hugger
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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