this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
