I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I yelled at your uterus for you.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
