i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
