I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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