He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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