I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
