You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
