I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
