YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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