he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
