I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
This house was built for laser tag.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize