Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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