Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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