whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
