Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
