He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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