You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
