I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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