bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
