Can Purell be used as lube?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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