I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
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