I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
