ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
