you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
