he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
