i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I think my vagina is haunted
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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