Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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