ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
