what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
