In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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